Sunday, October 14, 2001

I killed a spider so damn large that blood and guts splattered out. It was gut-wrenchingly gross. A horrid cremey-gray colour.

Wednesday, October 10, 2001

>A bus station is where a bus stops.
>A train station is where a train stops.
>On my desk, I have a work station.................

Tuesday, October 09, 2001

Dear Sir,

I am writing to you as an individual who has expressed concern regarding wildlife issues and contributor to charity. At this moment HM Customs and Excise have two shipments of Siberian husky puppies, numbering nearly forty. These puppies came in on a plane six weeks ago, and in the interim the company that was trying to import them went into receivership. This means that the puppies have no owners, and no forward destination.

If they remain in the UK they will have to be killed in another three weeks.

My own involvement is as a translator who had done work for the firm and was involved in negotiations with the staff. I do however have contacts at the storage facility who could sign out the puppies provided they were going to a legitimate 'holding company' in another country. However, this would require no small sum of money to pay for transport and costs so far to be picked up. I do not have such a sum, but am told that you might have cash or other facilities that could be made available to us.

Please do not tell anyone of this possibility as it is strictly speaking illegal to transfer ownership of live goods that are under dispute. My contacts in customs would get into trouble, I might have difficulty working again, and it would jeopardise all hope of securing their future. Respond only to this email address, as it gives no indication of who else is involved or the specifics of the shipment in question.

I hope that your motivation will be to avoid the senseless destruction of so many innocent animals. The Siberian husky is an extremely attractive and loyal breed, hardy in cold weather, and we are all angry at the prospect of bureaucracy destroying them. However, I can reassure you that when the puppies are sold on, they are likely to return at least four times the costs of handling them. Any contribution you make would be returned to at least this figure.


A Fraudster.

Thursday, September 27, 2001

Subject: [CF] The net closes in.

News Just In: Irish police have surronded a Marks and Spencers store in

They are acting Intelligence reports that Summer Bed Linen is on the second

(apologies to no-one that finds this offensive.)

Friday, September 21, 2001

Error 403.1415952 funny. ripped from Lukelog
NEW YEARS RESOLUTION - (Japan Version) Yesterday I had an epiphany: no matter how tough or intimidating any Japanese person looks, they still wear slippers inside the house.