Friday, March 16, 2001

Sadly todays usual 'Friday-Happiness' has been spoilt by this devastating news.

Security surrounding the scriptwriters of EastEnders has been stepped up - after one had her house burgled and computer stolen.

Warning. The following article is rated PG. It contains the following words, which may be deemed offensive: rubber cock bustybabes McDonalds Dobby
If you happened by chance to get here via search-engine after requesting a site with these words I would kindly ask you to leave immediately.

Thursday, March 15, 2001

PC Toys

What is missing from PC hardware/peripherals?


I predict that within ten years time most, if not all, Western households will have always on high-speed Net access with all sorts of high and low tech gagdetry purely designed for pleasure. There are already net-enabled photo/image-frames that can download a fresh picture at your pleasure. Webcams are becoming more&more popular, there are even 'scent-makers' that can release various scents according to the site visited. But think of what's missing, and what is possible. The Sony robot dog, Aibo, is now in its second generation. You can download new software modules to teach it tricks. Lego has amazing robotic kits that lets kids (and adults!) create robots and program the critters on their computers. I can imagine little robot dudes sitting on top of everyones monitor, happily boogying away to your currently playing MP3, or sitting there twiddling their thumbs whilst you read MSN news. Computers are, for the most part, a boring dirty-cream grey colour with little to no life whatsoever. Macs have bought a breath of fresh air to the scene but they're just too extravagent for boring old joe-public. When I was in my late teenage years I had the sudden desire to paint my then computer, a cute ickle Amiga1200. (God I loved that machine. miss the poor wee bugger, which is currently underneath my Mothers house collecting dust) So I bought a can of black spraypaint and created the coolest looking keyboard I knew of. The monitor had a coat of light blue, I used spare paint that I'd previously coated my bedroom walls with. Colour-coded computing! (but hey, the mouse was left alone.) The reaction of friends to the ensemble was 90% 'why the fek have you done that?' I thought it was narly. (read 'cool') But came to realise that nearly no-one agreed with me. I saw the Fifth Element at the cinema, and got distracted from the plot by Bruce's floor level fish tank. His cat seemed to like staring at the fishies, so I thought hell, I bet mine would to. Sadly, after many hours converting a near-antique radio 'Stereogram' into a fish-tank cum cat-amusement device, the little bugger decided fish weren't his (turned out to be a 'her'. Little darling literally had kittens ON MY BED!) cuppa tea.

If you're the sort of person who has ever thought 'why on earth are all VCRs black?' then you'd get along swell with me, at least when it comes to designing.

The net gives us the technology to introduce change to our environment, to react to new and wonderful things or simply just to access information. (boring) I say 'why has no-one taken taken advantage of this power?' Perhaps I am sadly misguided? I'm thinking of net-ready lava lamps, lighting systems that react to what you're surfing, toys that come to life when your kids log on to, stress-release balls that talk back to you, or read the latest stupid story from

I look around our living room and see a tacky Statue of Liberty, a shiny silver Empire State building, a really cool wind-up Tin robot, a bananas-in-pyjamas dude lying down next to our video/dvds, a rubber-cock that was given to the missus on her hen night and at least 4 soft-toys (that I don't particulary get along with, all presents I must add). Wouldn't it be so cool if that rubber cock reacted when you surfed on in (purely by accident of course) to ? Well, that is taking it a tad to far but I reckon it would sell to the right market.

I hope that when I'm old and crusty (crusty-er at least) I can tell my grand-kids that I thought of silly rubber cocks that are always happy to see you, Statues of Liberty that hide their face when you are surfing something you shouldn't, and McDonalds Happy Meal toys that talk to each other on the net.

Then again, we could just get a cat. We'll call him Dobby.

Aren't instant messanger conversations the coolest way to gossip? The wifey and I seem to think so...

rachel says: got Emma prattling in the office again
rachel says: great, unscientific deabte on foot and mouth now.
robbie : says: GROAN
rachel says: oh yes. I want to run away
rachel says: want an uzi
robbie :says: cackle
rachel says: there's no escape
rachel says:dinner parties now
robbie :says: oh what joy. not
rachel says: now urinary infections. lovely.
robbie : says: fuck sakes
rachel says: yup. told her to go get some cranberry juice- was essentially a way to get her out of the office
robbie : says: lol
rachel says: now migranes. she's off now
robbie :says: shes well and truely rooted

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

An amusing email from a supplier:

Hi Tamlin,
This one doesn't look good. It's not listed on our system as deleted but
it's been out of stock at our supplier for 6 months, and this is a small
supplier who are particularly useless for information. Using my powers of
deduction, combined with my vast knowledge of all things, I can safely say
this item is no longer available. If your customer has a problem with this
then perhaps I can interest them in a fistfight?

Tuesday, March 13, 2001

BBC News | BUSINESS | Web retailers 'breaking law'

A survey by the Office of Fair Trading (OFT) - which recently undertook a "mystery surf" found that more than half of the UK consumer websites it visited may have been breaking the law by failing to give any information on refund or exchange policies.

notsosoft Nice descrition of 'visual memory'. I think I tend to remember things best this way too, also when trying to figure things out. Its a shame I didn't realise this in Uni as I could've gotten away with doing even less work :)
The joys of living in a foreign land. "Alicia, have you got any biscuits?" said Robbie. "No, but I've got some frazzles" replied Alicia. "Ah....." said Robbie, somewhat confused as to whether frazzles was a food-type, or some form of human foot&mouth disease.

It has to be a good sign when you log into a net radio station for the first time and the song currently playing is by Nirvana
Celebrity Big Brother

Celebrity Big Brother was a surprise treat last night. Getting to watch Vanessa having a breakdown and telling BigBrother to "Fuck off!" was pure delight, a mouth-watering feast of celebrity panic. At one stage she was reduced to scrawling random messages on the table. The look on the faces of the others was a mixture of terror and confusion.
It is a shame she's off as the others seem pretty darn normal compared to her. (Apart from our Jack of course)

Monday, March 12, 2001

Thomas Cook Travel - Competition

Can you think of two million ways to spend £5? have! Enter your email address and you'll receive a £5 gift certificate to redeem against any one of over 2 million products on their website.
Danny handed in his resignation today. Definately not a surprise, but still sad as he's been here well over a year.
Well written article on the dangers of gaming addiction. (from a 15yr old self-confessed addict) - The world's premier free online journal and personal rating service

Too tired to blog? Can't blog, won't blog? Too lazy for dairy? This site takes the hardwork out of all the above. (found via the good folks at memepool)
Black & White Center - The Gamers' Choice In the game Black&White you play the role of God, looking after your own villagers as you see fit. You also get your own minion of sorts, and these are the ones currently available.
Black & White Center - The Gamers' Choice

Black & White will be the game of the year. If not the game of all time. This is a fine example of a well-presented fan site. Gossip, news, info. yumyumyum
BBC News | BUSINESS | Amazon cautious on 'volatile' stocks

Wise advise from the head of Amazon. Don't invest in net stocks.
I'm guessing he's not really interested in getting his bonus this year.
Dropped the car off in Bristol on Saturday, survived a fast and not-delayed train trip back to Oxford. Was amused by the rather large turn out of cops at the train stations. I hadn't travelled via train in the weekend of a footie match before. It must cost the country millions to keep large amounts of the people in blue trying to stop opposing fans killing each other before the match. Had a few pints on Saturday night at one oft the many locals and watched crap late-night TV into the early hours of Sunday. Rachel & I then drove to Pershore to wish my Mum a happy birthday, doing our bit to help the spread the foot&mouth disease. Rach has a good interview this very minute, so I'm off to think happy thoughts for her.