Friday, July 06, 2001

For those travelling through the Oxfordshire region, take note:

Be careful !!

Thames Valley Police are mounting a 6 month speeding campaign (starting 1st July), on M40, M4 and A34. They have been equipped with the following unmarked vehicles-

BMW 535I, 1 Silver & 1 Dark Green
Seat Cordoba 2.0 VTI in Silver
Vectra 2.5 SRI - 1 Black & 1 Red
Omega 3.0 SRI - 1 Burgundy
Volvo S40 T4 - 1 Red
Volvo S70 - 1 White
VW Bora 2.3 VTI - Red
VW Passat VR6 - Silver

They will also be using a helicopter between Junctions 4 and 8/9 of the M4 from next Monday for a 2 week period, plus additional mobile speed cameras on Bridges around Maidenhead and Slough Junctions.

Please pass this on.

Wednesday, July 04, 2001

Teaspoon stealers should be publically flailed with a flail of flailing.

Tuesday, July 03, 2001

Oh my god. For a moment there I thought I'd discovered a third nipple.

Monday, July 02, 2001

++Begin Rant++
Everyone deserves to have a fun 21st. But turning 21 does not give you the right to sing Steps songs repeatedly in a yobbish manner whilst interrupting yourself every 5mins for a good bit of door slamming.
We were subjected to this hell on Friday night as our next door neighbours celebrated until the early hours and managed to keep the entire block awake whilst at it.
"Aw fucking hell maaaaate, its light outside!" was heard at 5am as some of the revellers left for their own homes. This behaviour failed to impressed us, and when it started up again on Saturday night a pretty angry Rachel went and knocked on the (open) front door, only to see a girl in her early 20's sitting on the couch smashed to bits and not batting an eyelid at the appearance of a stranger at her front door. Rachel had to ask her to get someone who was capable of talking to come to front door, so she yelled out 'DEREK COME TO THE FRONT DOOOOR!!". Derek soon appeared looking somewhat sheepish and got a stern telling off from the Wife who was assured there would be no repeat performance that night. They came close the buggers, but were much better behaved and we actually managed to get some sleep.
We're still net-less whilst awaiting a visit from an NTL engineer. According to the National Geographic, these strange elusive creatures have been reported in a half dozen locations throughout the UK but noone has managed to obtain photographic proof of their existance. I'm quite prepared to wait another few days but after that will be planning my kidnap and hostage taking of as many NTL sales staff I can manage. (NTL engineers are reputed to be addicted to sales-staff sweetbreads).
++Transmission Ends++